We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

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We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

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If something is keeping you from being fully present and showing up in your life the way you want, then deciding to change that thing is a matter of life and death. It's the difference between existing and actually living."

We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

The mental load required to plan, monitor, adjust, control, and otherwise manage the proper or “ideal” amount of alcohol intake is exhausting to even imagine. I searched for that elusive third door for years, and I believe I would have died trying. In the end, it was far more peaceful to accept it wasn’t there. More critically, though, what I’ve gained from sobriety completely eclipses any loss. To think I would forsake all the gifts that have come from giving up alcohol so that I could find a way to fit a few ounces of liquid into my body each week is laughable. I can’t prove that moderation was scientifically impossible for me, but my inner knowing is crystal clear: I would never have touched a fraction of my own possibility if alcohol was still in my life. As Irish poet and philosopher John O’Donohue says, “The normal way never leads home.” In The Divine Comedy, Dante described purgatory as a place where the soul is cleansed of all impurities, It is known as a place where suffering and misery are felt to be sharp, but temporary. This for me was what it felt like to have one foot in the new, strange land of sobriety and the other firmly, desperately, in my old life. The is what it feels like for all of us, I think, when we have only half-decided to own our thing, When we have only half-surrendered, only half-committed to becoming different... It’s supposed to be difficult. It’s supposed to take everything you have. It’s supposed to take longer than you want and to change you, completely. This often won’t feel good when it’s happening, but nothing worth having ever does." I came to realize that this is what it really means to be alive — to not look away from any of it — and that all I was really doing before was pretending: floating through my days half-numb, half-involved, half-awake, thinking I was really living when in fact I was missing it all.”

The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

My friend Meadow's definition of intimacy...she says, "Intimacy is having a kind, compassionate witness to your truest thoughts and feelings." You are always with me. You are never alone. And everything I have is yours. You are granted all the love in the universe simply because you exist, not because you are good. Love was never yours to lose — you cannot lose it. It will never let you go.”

Luckiest Club // Online Sobriety Support Community The Luckiest Club // Online Sobriety Support Community

Not because I was committed to forever, but because I finally realized the future was built on a bunch of nows, and that was it." No matter how far astray you’ve gone or how many times you’ve tried and failed before, as long as you’re still sitting here, breathing, and reading these words, freedom and joy are still possible. The effort of putting words to my experiences, of trying to describe things as accurately as possible, felt like it was saving my life. One sentence at a time, I was writing my way to an understanding and a grace I could not otherwise reach. I breathed power into a new life for myself and also slowly started to make sense of what I'd never been able to before.”Things like approval seeking, people-pleasing, not voicing my opinions, and avoiding conflict at any cost — these were all dishonesty masked as something sweeter and more socially acceptable.” What I mean by faith is simply this: when you enter into an unknown place, one where you haven't yet developed the skills to operate - and especially one where you don't even want to be - you have to rely on some idea that you will be carried through it and that it will be better.

We Are the Luckiest Quotes by Laura McKowen - Goodreads

Having a witness also means being seen. Really seen. In all our humanity - flaws and ugly bits and all. Even the most courageous of us are willing to go about 90 percent of the way there, but we hold on to that last 10 percent, the part that could allow us to be really known. Sobriety hasn't so much been about revealing the 90 percent but that last 10. The little bit I always want to keep to myself. Over time, and with each right choice, I got stronger. I started to feel something magical growing inside me, getting bigger, more substantial, and pulsing with life. Why? Because Laura is one of the most insightful and powerful teachers I’ve ever known. If you read this book, you will learn how she came to own that power and how all the big energy she’s held inside herself has come alive from the work she’s done in sobriety. ⁣

Customer reviews

I had high hopes for this book because I heard so many good things about it. I just finished it and I think it’s OK. There’s nothing Earth shattering about it. I’ve definitely read better books, and I’ve definitely read worse. This is one of those books I’ll read once and that’ll be that. Four days ago my daughter turned 12. I had my last drink. I have known for years that this is My Thing but it is time to finally draw a line in the sand. For Me. For my family. For my future and my happiness. To break the generational cycle of a drinking culture in our home. Without missing a beat, he smiled, looked at him, and said, "Of course you can. Are you drinking now?" One stranger who understands your experience exactly will do for you what hundreds of close friends and family who don't understand cannot. It is the necessary palliative for the pain or stretching into change. It is the cool glass of water in hell.” You deserve to heal. And it’s going to take time. You need to do whatever you need to do to give yourself that chance.”

We Are the Luckiest : The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

The place where we pretend, in big ways and in small, that we are something or someone we know in our bones we are not. We can go a long time pretending and thinking we’re doing it right this way, building big, complicated lives on a false foundation. No matter how big and impressive a life you build there, on that island, the crumbling of that life is inevitable.” I started to do the thing I had been doing, which was to bypass my actual feelings and say the thing I knew I was supposed to say: the more spiritual thing, the thing I thought she wanted to hear...But I stopped myself. I breathed. I’ve found myself inspired to foster my wellness, presentness, and honesty as a therapist, mother, and human. something within me began to shift. I started to turn away from him, and though I hated myself for it, I didn't know how to stop. The problem is, 10 percent of withholding, or secretiveness, will still eventually contaminate the whole...And keeping 10 percent of yourself from your partner, or whomever you could trust with your heart, will make you 100 percent lonely.”

This is the singular, hard truth I come up against every day: I am the only one responsible for my experience. I decide what I let in; I decide who I let in; I decide how to perceive things; I choose it all.” Furthermore, as someone in long term sobriety, I found her writing and the tools she provided gave me an insertion point from where I am in my life today. While her book touts this, I was still surprised when her questions and tools helped me navigate a specific fear I've grappled with that has nothing to do with drinking! It's also easy to see the value in how it will help many others who are in early sobriety or sober curious or struggling with issues other than alcohol or substances.

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